Nan wanted a bough or two cut off the big silver maple in our backyard. So I hired a crew. Then she was hot to put in her garden and didn’t like having to wait.
“It’s too early to plant, anyway,” I said.
When the crew got here, she was hot for the climber. “You should see the hunk trimming my tree,” she told her sister on the phone.
“Why don’t you go lick the sweat off his pecs?” I said. “You know you want to.”
“Hey, it wouldn’t kill you to work out, Bobby.”
Well. She had me there.
I wrote this story for the 100 Word Challenge #344 at Velvet Verbosity.
I know this was supposed to be funny, but I also found it a little sad. Which maybe you also meant to do. I love your clever and savvy repeat of “she was hot”. A writer has to know when that will work, and it did here.
I did want the narrator to be deflated in the final line. Up til then he is coping well enough; he has a response, a come-back to everything. He seems amused by Nan, and probably feels superior to her. Then comes the sudden deflation, the bursting of his bubble. He realizes it, too, which is why he stops being a comic character.